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About Literature / Student Fakey NamersonMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 6 Years
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Sheathe Those Claws [Skyrim]
[The story opens with a brief, mostly-dialog-free action scene that sets the tone and introduces the main character, which I've omitted because I think this second section works better as vertical slice.]
Page 13 (eight panels)
Panel 1. Establishing shot of a horse-drawn cart driven by
an Imperial soldier as it trundles down a dirt road.
Lokir, Ralof, Ulfric (who is gagged), and Sibil, a lithe,
athletically built Khajiit woman with faint tabby markings,
are inside. All of them have had their hands bound.
Damn you Stormcloaks. Skyrim was
fine until you came along. Empire
was nice and lazy.
Panel 2. A closer shot of the cart's occupants. Sibil
appears to be asleep.
If they hadn't been looking for
you, I could have stolen that horse
and been halfway to Hammerfell.
Panel 3. Sibil speaks. Her eyes remain closed. Lokir scowls
at her.
If they were not looking for you,
that means they were distracted,
and a distracted man is a stupid
You simply
:iconaponyfarce:APonyFarce 1 0
Cream and Changelings Rise
Vinyl Scratch and Octavia sat in a small outdoor bistro tucked away in a corner of the castle grounds, surrounded by the ambient chatter of dozens of ponies either having a meal or simply passing by. It was the day of the much-vaunted royal wedding, and the eatery was even more densely packed than castle-side restaurants usually were at lunch hour; increased security had done little to lower the number of interested spectators come for a brief glimpse of the bride and groom, and the more heavily trafficked parts of the castle had become essentially unnavigable, forcing the musicians to take refuge somewhere off the beaten path.
"I don't know, Scratch," Octavia said, looking up at the pink sky filtering through the magical barrier surrounding the castle. "This whole thing is just weird."
"You kiddin'? Trust me, Canterlot's seen way, way weirder."
"Weirder than you playing at a royal wedding? How does that even happen?"
The electric blue stripes of Scratch's mane hun
:iconaponyfarce:APonyFarce 45 11
Five Out of Five Ponies Who Read Drink Tea
Spike walked into Mare Cranston's, a small, quiet building with a quaint wood motif and cozy lighting that gave just the right ambiance to its shelves, which were filled with a wide variety of teas both common and exotic.  The shop was known for carrying obscure, unpopular, or otherwise difficult-to-find brands, and it was the only store in Canterlot- or, indeed, within a one-hundred mile radius of Ponyville- to sell Twilight's favorite tea, an odd blend called Old Grey whose taste would best be described as bookish if "bookish" were a word one could reasonably apply to beverages.
Spike walked up to the shop's counter and waved at its cashier, a lanky colt with a dull orange coat.  "Hey, Leaves.  I'm just gonna grab a couple boxes of Old Grey, alright?"
"No can do, Spike," Tea Leaves said, shaking his head.  "We're all sold out."
"Sold out?" Spike said, giving the salescolt an incredulous look.  "Don't be ridiculous. We both know I'm th
:iconaponyfarce:APonyFarce 19 19
No One Kicks You Here, Bluenote
"You really don't think I did it?"
"Of course not.  I know you think 'a dozen dozen' is clever wordplay, but do the math.  Not even you can eat one hundred and forty-four donuts."
Frederic Horseshoepin grinned.  "A hundred forty-five, actually.  Joe made the last one a baker's dozen."
"Yeah," Bluenote said, nodding.  "We thought he was crazy, but he really did it.  His stomach must be made of iron or something."
Octavia rolled her eyes at the sousaphone player.  "C'mon, you don't really expect me to believe that."
"Weren't you there, Octavia?"
"Nah," Harpo said, taking a sip of his drink.  "That was the night she got kicked out for decking that Hawthorne guy, remember?"
"Octavia got thrown out for kicking somebody's flank?"  Vinyl Scratch chuckled.  "You know, that actually doesn't surprise me."
"He deserved it," muttered the bassist, folding her forelegs and leaning on the tabl
:iconaponyfarce:APonyFarce 1 0
Can't Keep Berry Down
Berry Punch threw down the canvas, brush, and paint.  "How'd we even get stuck with banner duty in the first place?" she complained as she spread out the sheet.
"It was just random, Berry," said Carrot Top.  "Twilight said that was the fairest-"
Berry cut her off.  "Fair my flank!  Does that girl have any idea how hard it is to paint with your mouth?"
Carrot Top sighed.  "Let's just get it over with."
"Fine, fine.  I'll do up to the C in 'princess' and then you can finish the rest, alright?"
"Okay, I guess."
Around half an hour later, Carrot Top ran into a problem.  "Uh-oh," she said, putting down the brush.
"Oh, what is it now?" asked Berry, looking up from her copy of Ardenne's Berries of Equestria.
"I ran out of space.  We're gonna have to start all over.  Sorry, Berry."
Berry glanced at the banner and shook her head.  "Nah, forget about it.  It's not like the princess is go
:iconaponyfarce:APonyFarce 5 1
Party. Sleep. Repeat.
Luna walked through the streets of Canterlot, still hardly believing her eyes.  The city was awake, even at night, and although she had spent the last months studying it from afar, being in the thick of things was an entirely different experience.
As much as she admired the city, she was a little uneasy.  Her visit to Ponyville had gone well enough in the end, but only because she had deigned to visit on the one day ponies wanted to be scared by her.  The citizens of Equestria had yet to really accept their second Princess, even in her own home; the frightened looks and furtive whispers from the courtiers in the castle were bad enough, even with Celestia there to set them straight, and Luna knew it would only be worse in the city proper.  Ponies are always much more agitable when there are a lot of them all crammed into a small place, and cities didn't come much more cramped than Canterlot.  If you introduce a herd of stre
:iconaponyfarce:APonyFarce 84 42
The White Rabbit Blues
Angel Bunny stood on the tree branch and tapped his foot impatiently.  He didn't quite remember how he got up there, but he was pretty sure it had something to do with that accursed owl.  One of these days he was going to have to gesticulate wildly to Spike about that guy.
"Hold on, Angel!  I'm coming!" called Fluttershy, her voice shaking as she flew towards him.  Her wings brushed against a loose branch, knocking it off and startling her.  She cried out and latched onto the tree, her wings locking up as she held on for dear life.
The rabbit smacked his face.  Why didn't this surprise him?  The girl could fly, for Celestia's sake!
Still, it wasn't her fault.  He'd brought it on himself, really; he knew what he was getting into when he decided to help the timid pegasus grow a spine.
Sighing, he sat against the tree trunk.  He knew they were stuck until Fluttershy got her act together, or at least
:iconaponyfarce:APonyFarce 1 15
Side Stories are Never Successful
"And it's just, like… look, if you're on Serato Scratch, don't call yourself a DJ," Vinyl Scratch said, finishing a long rant.
Spike nodded in agreement.  He'd been to his fair share of bad clubs.  "Tell me about it.  Beat detecting's got no attitude, y'know?"
Scratch slammed her drink onto the table.  "Exactly!"
"So how'd it work out with that guy from EMG?" Spike asked, leaning back in his chair.
Almost instantly, Scratch's good-natured indignation disappeared and her face fell.  "It's… well, we're still talking about it."
"What?" snapped Spike, confused and a little angry.  "There's nothing to talk about!  You're great!  They should be falling all over themselves to sign you."
Scratch chuckled.  "Thanks for the vote of confidence, but these executive types don't see it like that.  It's all about focus groups and Fencepost rankings with those guys- they're looking for hooks a
:iconaponyfarce:APonyFarce 49 53
God I Hate Summer
Princess Luna flopped onto her bed and groaned.  Her thousand years on the moon had made her appreciate a great many things that she used to hate, but the one thing she never missed- not once in the entire millennium- was summer.
Luna absolutely hated the summer.  She couldn't stand the heat, she despised the seemingly endless swarms of insects, and the long days made her beautiful nights far too short and fleeting.  It was a horrible season, and she never understood why the ponies seemed to love it so.
Through her window, she could see them running around the castle grounds, somehow going about their everyday business despite the sweltering heat.  Luna didn't envy them in the slightest; she was perfectly content to spend her days locked in her air-conditioned and (hopefully) bug-free room playing her favorite first-pony shooters.  Of course, today it was so hot she couldn't even do that- she had tried, certainly, but hearing her comput
:iconaponyfarce:APonyFarce 7 4
Spike the Saddest Dragon-Prose
Jacqueline Paper stood in front of the cave entrance, trying- and failing- to work up enough courage to go in.  She and her friends had spent all day climbing to the top of the mountain, but now that their destination was mere feet away, she couldn't bring herself to take the final steps.  Seeing her distress, Apple Cider patted her on the back and tried to reassure her.  "Look, I know you're scared.  We all are.  But you have to do this.  Equestria needs us."
Jacqueline stared at the thick cloud of smoke spilling out from the cavern.  "I know that," she said, "but…"
Firebrand flew up to her friends and floated several feet above their heads.  "Don't worry, Jacks!  We're right behind you!"
"…Or a safe distance away, at least," said Daisy.
Cider gave the sarcastic pony an angry glare and then turned back to Jacqueline.  "We're counting on you, Jacky, but if you really can't do i
:iconaponyfarce:APonyFarce 22 15
Spike the Saddest Dragon
Page 1 (6 panels)
Six panels of equal size arranged 2 x 3.
Panel 1
Standard panel, top-left.  Celestia, Filly Twilight, and baby Spike are in a classroom.  Twilight sits at a desk, intently listening to Celestia's lecture, while Spike sucks his tail.
Panel 2
Standard panel, top-right.  Twilight reads to Spike.  Both are noticeably older than in the first panel, but still young- somewhere in between their filly/baby designs and the standard ones.
Panel 3
Standard panel, middle-left.  Twilight dictates a letter to Spike.  Both have the design we usually see in the show.
Panel 4
Standard panel, middle-right.  Awkward tweenaged Spike accidentally spills a jar of ink he is bringing to Twilight, who is startled.  Twilight looks more-or-less the same while Spike is noticeably larger and lankier.
Panel 5
Standard panel, bottom-left.  Surly teenage Spike storms out of the library.  He has
:iconaponyfarce:APonyFarce 11 7


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Fakey Namerson
Artist | Student | Literature
United States
I'm a film student with foolish and unfounded aspirations of becoming a writer, just like every other penniless dreamer on the internet. I'm currently on the writing staff of pony fan MMO project Legends of Equestria and looking to branch out into writing comics, so we'll see how well that goes.


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clau016 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2015  Hobbyist Filmographer
dude, where can i find you? you're absolutely awesome and i would like to talk with you about making a comic out of your writing
PaleBlank Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch!
Residentfriendly Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the watch! :)
Ojnax Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2011  Hobbyist
Just read Party. Sleep. Repeat. Will probably read more later, your great at writing.
liobi Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2011  Student Writer
I love you. Just saying, brony.
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