APonyFarce

[The story opens with a brief, mostly-dialog-free action scene that sets the tone and introduces the main character, which I've omitted because I think this second section works better as vertical slice.] Page 13 (eight panels) Panel 1. Establishing shot of a horse-drawn cart driven by an Imperial soldier as it trundles down a dirt road. Lokir, Ralof, Ulfric (who is gagged), and Sibil, a lithe, athletically built Khajiit woman with faint tabby markings, are inside. All of them have had their hands bound. LOKIR Damn you Stormcloaks. Skyrim was fine until you came along. Empire was nice and lazy. Panel 2. A closer shot of the cart's

Vinyl Scratch and Octavia sat in a small outdoor bistro tucked away in a corner of the castle grounds, surrounded by the ambient chatter of dozens of ponies either having a meal or simply passing by. It was the day of the much-vaunted royal wedding, and the eatery was even more densely packed than castle-side restaurants usually were at lunch hour; increased security had done little to lower the number of interested spectators come for a brief glimpse of the bride and groom, and the more heavily trafficked parts of the castle had become essentially unnavigable, forcing the musicians to take refuge somewhere off the beaten path. "I don't know

Spike walked into Mare Cranston's, a small, quiet building with a quaint wood motif and cozy lighting that gave just the right ambiance to its shelves, which were filled with a wide variety of teas both common and exotic.  The shop was known for carrying obscure, unpopular, or otherwise difficult-to-find brands, and it was the only store in Canterlot- or, indeed, within a one-hundred mile radius of Ponyville- to sell Twilight's favorite tea, an odd blend called Old Grey whose taste would best be described as bookish if "bookish" were a word one could reasonably apply to beverages. Spike walked up to the shop's counter and waved at

"You really don't think I did it?" "Of course not.  I know you think 'a dozen dozen' is clever wordplay, but do the math.  Not even you can eat one hundred and forty-four donuts." Frederic Horseshoepin grinned.  "A hundred forty-five, actually.  Joe made the last one a baker's dozen." "Yeah," Bluenote said, nodding.  "We thought he was crazy, but he really did it.  His stomach must be made of iron or something." Octavia rolled her eyes at the sousaphone player.  "C'mon, you don't really expect me to believe that." "Weren't you there, Octavia?" "Nah," Harpo said, taking a sip o

Berry Punch threw down the canvas, brush, and paint.  "How'd we even get stuck with banner duty in the first place?" she complained as she spread out the sheet. "It was just random, Berry," said Carrot Top.  "Twilight said that was the fairest-" Berry cut her off.  "Fair my flank!  Does that girl have any idea how hard it is to paint with your mouth?" Carrot Top sighed.  "Let's just get it over with." "Fine, fine.  I'll do up to the C in 'princess' and then you can finish the rest, alright?" "Okay, I guess." Around half an hour later, Carrot Top ran into a problem.  "

Luna walked through the streets of Canterlot, still hardly believing her eyes.  The city was awake, even at night, and although she had spent the last months studying it from afar, being in the thick of things was an entirely different experience. As much as she admired the city, she was a little uneasy.  Her visit to Ponyville had gone well enough in the end, but only because she had deigned to visit on the one day ponies wanted to be scared by her.  The citizens of Equestria had yet to really accept their second Princess, even in her own home; the frightened looks and furtive whispers from the courtiers i

Angel Bunny stood on the tree branch and tapped his foot impatiently.  He didn't quite remember how he got up there, but he was pretty sure it had something to do with that accursed owl.  One of these days he was going to have to gesticulate wildly to Spike about that guy. "Hold on, Angel!  I'm coming!" called Fluttershy, her voice shaking as she flew towards him.  Her wings brushed against a loose branch, knocking it off and startling her.  She cried out and latched onto the tree, her wings locking up as she held on for dear life. The rabbit smacked his face.  Why didn't this surprise him?  The girl could fly, for Celestia's sake! Still,

"And it's just, like… look, if you're on Serato Scratch, don't call yourself a DJ," Vinyl Scratch said, finishing a long rant. Spike nodded in agreement.  He'd been to his fair share of bad clubs.  "Tell me about it.  Beat detecting's got no attitude, y'know?" Scratch slammed her drink onto the table.  "Exactly!" "So how'd it work out with that guy from EMG?" Spike asked, leaning back in his chair. Almost instantly, Scratch's good-natured indignation disappeared and her face fell.  "It's… well, we're still talking about it." "What?" snapped Spike, confused and a little angry.

Princess Luna flopped onto her bed and groaned.  Her thousand years on the moon had made her appreciate a great many things that she used to hate, but the one thing she never missed- not once in the entire millennium- was summer. Luna absolutely hated the summer.  She couldn't stand the heat, she despised the seemingly endless swarms of insects, and the long days made her beautiful nights far too short and fleeting.  It was a horrible season, and she never understood why the ponies seemed to love it so. Through her window, she could see them running around the castle grounds, somehow going about their everyday

Jacqueline Paper stood in front of the cave entrance, trying- and failing- to work up enough courage to go in.  She and her friends had spent all day climbing to the top of the mountain, but now that their destination was mere feet away, she couldn't bring herself to take the final steps.  Seeing her distress, Apple Cider patted her on the back and tried to reassure her.  "Look, I know you're scared.  We all are.  But you have to do this.  Equestria needs us." Jacqueline stared at the thick cloud of smoke spilling out from the cavern.  "I know that," she said, "but…"